The administration at work is going through major changes as the old President is retiring. He is leaving the group on the brink of a death spiral financially. The new “team” started with a large dinner, where none of the hard questions were really answered…like “what about ME!” A lot of nice things were said about the big picture…hard times, work harder, work smarter, blah blah blah. As things have unfolded I am feeling more hopeless. In the restructuring, my current boss has been promoted. I found working under him very frustrating as he really has his own best interests in mind. Often when I raised issues, he did not validate my experience, but said things like “It never happened to me.” I know I have some issues with punctuality, but I expect the boss to actually schedule and start meetings on time, in respect for the worker bees, who have schedules and work to complete. I took the time to speak up about some of these issues and I know a lot of others did, too. It was quite interesting that the people who worked under him these last couple decades, were not big supporters. The vote was close. Rumour has it that he addressed some of his failings as said he will be a good boy when he is promoted to the ole boy network. I suspect a spy, as a person instrumental in getting him this promotion was at a meeting with me the other day and I had expressed them to him. People can change yes, but I really don’t think he will. It doesn’t give me much hope, and now I have less faith that the new administration will pull us out of the death spiral.
Our department has been having emails flying around. The chief of our department was asked to step down and other members in our department who have administration postitions as well. One particular person who was canned has done amazing work in the CME department and really made a difference. I am amazed that a chief can be canned without input from the department. The other larger department to which the new President belongs, now has members promoted to the most key positions. It smacks of ole crony-ism. Politics. The general feeling is that it is a slap in the face.
I have moments of paranoia thinking the group is trying to cull the old timers like me and hope we all will go quietly and sit on the ice. There is something holding me back from putting in for retirement. I know when I’m ready it will be easy. So it’s back to my corner, treading water, wondering who I will be after I let go this identity I’ve had for 26 years, taking pleasure in the small things, trying not to get too fat, and encouraging my last baby bird out of the nest. I’ll have to let go of a company that does not value my years of service or opinions. I still like the actual job I signed up for and hey, a paycheck is always a good thing.